


I am Not the Responsible Adult Here

by OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor



Series: Naruto Drabbles [9]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fix It Fic, Jiraiya lives, Naruto does not want to be the responsible one, drunk shennanigans, what did Shizune do to deserve this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 08:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12553592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor/pseuds/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor
Summary: Naruto goes to see Jiraiya for himself and apologize to Tsunade and gets more tha he bargained for when he finds both Sannin drunk.





	I am Not the Responsible Adult Here

**Author's Note:**

> Author has not finished Shippuden

     “Grandma Tsunade! Pervy Sage! I’m… What the hell?” Naruto stepped into Tsunade’s small house. The living room looked like it had been ransacked. Naruto pulled out his kunai and moved cautiously forward. He could hear movement in the kitchen. And… Laughter? Hopefully that meant nobody was dead. Naruto winced. Even in his own head, it was too soon. He had come to see Jiraiya with his own eyes… And to apologize to Grandma Tsunade. He didn’t regret what he said, exactly, but he knew that Tsunade cared about Jiraiya too, in her own way. And Kakashi had ripped him a new one for the way he’d acted. He’d never seen his sensi so angry before. There was a crash from the kitchen, then more giggling. Naruto edged around the door, uncertain what he would find. Two Sannin on the floor, covered in flour, was not it. Naruto put his kunai away.   
     “What is going on here?” He asked, hands on hips. Tsunade and Jiraiya turned to look at him. He could smell the alcohol on both of them as he stepped closer.  
     “We’re baking a cake to celebrate our marriage!” Jiraiya said. Naruto gaped at them.  
     “WHAT?!?”   
     “A cake!” Tsunade repeated, as if that explained why they were on the floor and covered with flour.  
     “You married Pervy Sage?” Naruto asked.  
     “She did!” Jiraiya said happily. “Finally!”   
     “Okay,” Naruto said drawing the word out slowly. “I don’t think I really want to know. What happened to your cake? Did it explode?”   
     “Mmm,” Tsunade hummed. “Jiraiya decided my hair should match his.”  
     “You put flour in her hair? What the hell, Pervy Sage?” Naruto asked.   
     “We’re married, we should match,” Jiraiya said, as if it was the most logical explanation in the world. Naruto sighed loudly.   
     “Whatever, I don’t really want to know. Let’s get this mess cleaned up.” He moved to help Jiraiya off the floor. Naruto flinched when he saw Jiraiya’s pinned up sleeve. Even completely soused, his mentor noticed. He clapped Naruto on the shoulder with his remaining hand, almost knocking the younger ninja off his feet.   
     “ ‘S all right, Naruto! If anything was going to kill me, that mission would have! It did, kind of. But I’m back now! No more dangerous missions for me!” Jiraiya said. Naruto got the feeling he was trying to be reassuring. Naruto was not reassured. He stepped away from Jiraiya and pulled Tsunade to her feet.   
     “Grandma Tsunade, where’s your broom?” He asked. Tsunade gestured vaguely. Naruto dug through corners and closets, trying to ignore Jiraiya’s efforts to brush the flour off Tsunade.   
     “Just don't look, don’t look, don’t look,” he muttered to himself. Ah, here it is!” He grabbed the broom from it’s hidden corner. He turned around to find Jiraiya and Tsunade making out.  
     “Gross! Stop that! You have company!” He yelled, smacking them both with the broom. “Get out so I can clean up your kitchen!” Jiraiya tugged a giggling Tsunade out of the kitchen.  
     “Are you going to finish our cake?” He asked, poking his head back around the corner.  
     “NO!” Naruto shouted. “And behave until I get this cleaned up!”   
       “Sure, Naruto, sure,” Jiraiya said. Naruto wondered if he would have to burn his eyes out after this. With a help of a couple shadow clones, it only took a couple minutes. He sent one of the clones into the living room to watch the ‘adults’ while he did, because it sounded like they were moving furniture. (They were. Apparently they wanted to make a fort.) Naruto dispelled the clones and went into the living room.   
     “Alright, the kitchen is clean,” he said. Jiraiya scrambled out of the fort to drape himself across Naruto’s shoulders.  
     “Narutooooo! You’re like the son I never had!” Jiraiya said. “If I had a son I would want him to be just like you!”   
     "We could do something about that," Tsunade said seductively. "You could have a son."  
     "Oh fuck no!" Naruto said.  
     "Fuck yes!" Tsunade said, giggling uncontrollably. Naruto opened his mouth to comment on Tsunade’s age, then decided he really didn’t want to die today. Even though it was tempting after this conversation.   
     “No more booze for either of you,” he said instead. “Where’s your liqueur cabinet?” The Sannin ignored him in favor of discussing Tsunade’s suggestion. Naruto pretended very very hard that he couldn’t hear that discussion. It took a couple minutes, but he found Tsunade’s stash and put a minor sealing jutsu on the door, figuring they were too drunk already to figure out how to undo it.   
     “I’m leaving, now,” he said. “Don’t die.”

     Shizune looked up in surprise as a blur of orange burst into her office.  
     “Oh, Naruto, what can I do for you?” She asked.  
     “Check in on Grandma Tsunade and Pervy Sage in the morning,” he growled. “They are drunk off their asses and absolutely disgusting! And I am not going to be the responsible adult here!” He turned and stormed out of the office. Shizune sighed and let her head rest on the desk. Really, what did she do to deserve this? 


End file.
